Taking On Destiny
by Moonlit Sunshine
Summary: "I can't lose him! He's my friend!" Merlin turns back time by the Lake of Avalon. He turns it back till before it all began to go wrong. Before Morgana discovered her magic. How would things have played out if Arthur had been a protector of magic users since then? AU. Bromance and fluff, be warned. Absolutely no slash.
1. Chapter 1

From S4xE12 to S2xE3

"I can't lose him!" Merlin yelled at the dragon. "He's my friend!"

 _No_ , he thought, _this can't be happening. I can't lose Arthur – he's my destiny, Camelot's destiny!_

Kilgarrah was saying something, but Merlin's thoughts had descended into chaos and he wasn't listening. _The time for listening is over. I have to make my own way._

Words of the Old Religion began forming in his mind and falling from his lips. He vaguely noticed the sun moving backwards, and then saw his life literally flash before his eyes…backwards.

 _Morgana, Lancelot, Father, Freya, Elyan…I can't lose them and_ Arthur _too!_

The months flashed by and turned into years. Merlin watched, fascinated despite himself.

 _Now!_ he thought, and stopped the spell.

"Merlin!" a voice called, and he looked up to see Arthur, large as life and twice as natural, walking towards him.

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered, not daring to believe it, studying the person before him.

Arthur was looking around confusedly. He focused on Merlin, and then finally on something in Merlin's hand. The mild confusion on his face gave way to utter bewilderment. Merlin looked down. He had flowers in his hand. He looked back at Arthur, and then his knees buckled.

"Merlin!" Arthur said again, catching him a little too late and then dragging him back to his own chambers. Merlin didn't resist. "What is going on?" Arthur demanded, dumping Merlin rather roughly in a chair. Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but Arthur interrupted again. "And this time, for once, tell me the truth, Merlin."

"Uh–what?" _Surely he doesn't remember?_

"I was dying, I know it!" Arthur nearly shouted. "We were at the shore of that lake, and now we're back in Camelot as if nothing ever happened!"

 _Okay. Clearly he does remember._

"And you look about ten years younger!"Arthur went on. " _What is going on?_ "

"Sh," Merlin admonished, feeling light-headed with happiness, what with Arthur back on his feet, yelling at him again. "Someone might hear." He looked at the flowers again and chuckled. "No, Arthur, I wasn't in love with Morgana." Arthur looked at him as if he feared for Merlin's sanity. "I just wanted her to feel better after the fire, like I told you. See? I told you the truth that time."

" _Mer_ lin!"

Merlin sighed. "I turned back time, Arthur. I couldn't let you die." Arthur stumbled backwards. Merlin had never seen him looking so staggered, even when he had learned about Merlin's magic. "The blade that Mordred struck you with," Merlin winced, "was forged in a dragon's breath, and its power is such that I couldn't heal you."

Arthur sat down heavily in a chair as if his legs were imitating Merlin's. "And where–which year are we in?"

Merlin weakly brandished the flowers. "Morgana's chambers caught fire, remember? There is no murderer, by the way; she started it herself, by accident. This is the day after."

There was a long pause. "Couldn't you have just transported me quickly to that island or something?" Arthur said.

"Mmh," Merlin replied, half-asleep, "I wonder why I didn't think of that."

"Wha–Merlin, wake up!"

"That was actually a good idea, Arthur, you're starting to think like a magician," Merlin murmured, his head drooping.

" _Mer_ lin!" Arthur said, shaking Merlin violently.

"Well, excuse me," Merlin said peevishly, waking up a little and rubbing his eyes. "I just performed a spell that would've killed most magicians, and do I get any rest, let alone thanks? No, sirree…" He trailed off. Arthur was staring at him as if he'd never seen him before. "Arthur?" Merlin said softly.

Arthur twisted around so Merlin couldn't see his face. "Just getting used to certain outlandish ideas, like my manservant turning back time," he said, a little too casually.

Merlin remained silent.

"And just why did the great sorcerer turn back time by so many years? Just a few hours would have sufficed in order to save my life."

Merlin took a deep, calming breath. "To prevent the deaths of other people. And stop still others from turning against us in the first place."

"Morgana and Mordred, you mean."

Merlin nodded.

"You'd better deliver those flowers to–" Arthur stopped. "Their intended recipient," he ended finally.

"Arthur, we need to let her know she is accepted, even with her magic," Merlin said earnestly. "This is where it all started going downhill–with Morgana turning against Uther because she had been alone and afraid for far too long!"

"Accepted!" Arthur burst out incredulously. "After all she did? She's the reason all this," he waved his hand about, "happened in the first place!"

"No, Arthur," Merlin said quietly. "Not yet, not anymore. We're in the past, remember? At this moment in time, she's not responsible for anything."

Arthur huffed and turned away. "You think too much."

"I'm an idiot, idiots don't think very much." Merlin didn't know why he was feeling so argumentative.

Arthur had frozen. "Merlin," and he sounded ever so uncertain, "I already apologized for…no, I didn't, did I?" He leaned against the table and closed his eyes. "I could spend the rest of my life apologizing for my behavior."

Merlin wondered why he could never stay angry at Arthur for very long. "Well," he returned cheerfully, "you did give me two days off, so that's something. And for another–"

He waved his hand and the room began cleaning itself. "Most of my chores are taken care of."

Arthur watched Merlin sit in Gaius' chambers, waiting and thinking about the old physician's reaction to their strange story. Gaius had sat Merlin down and examined him for head injuries before properly listening to him. Arthur's presence had helped convince him.

The door opened and Morgana walked in, wearing her nightclothes. Arthur watched through a crack in Merlin's's bedroom door. "Where's Gaius?" she said in a panicked voice.

Merlin replied rather mechanically, Arthur thought. He himself felt disjointed in time, his mind filling with memories of a raving Morgana threatening to destroy him and everyone on his side. He forced himself to concentrate.

"Is it magic?" Morgana was asking. "I just need to hear someone say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it," she said pleadingly.

"Yes, Morgana," Merlin said firmly. "It is magic." Morgana's eyes widened. "And I know how you feel," Merlin continued. He whispered a command and a table rose in the air. Morgana gasped. "We are kin, Morgana. You don't need to be alone anymore. And I'm not the only one who thinks so."

Arthur stepped into the room. Morgana recoiled as if she'd been struck. "It's all right, Morgana," Arthur said, albeit a little stiffly. "I'm on your side."

Morgana paused, still wide-eyed, and then said, "But what about your father?"

"My father probably wouldn't understand," Arthur said distantly, wishing his heart wouldn't twist so at the mere mention of his not-dead father.

"Your dreams were magic too, Morgana," Merlin said. "They were premonitions."

Morgana closed her eyes as if the words were soothing to hear. "I knew it. But Gaius…"

"He was trying to protect you."

Morgana was still looking at Arthur mistrustfully. Arthur sighed mentally. How was he the untrustworthy one now? "Don't worry, Morgana, to betray you would mean also betraying the man dearest to me in the world," Arthur said, enunciating each word carefully. Morgana looked from him to Merlin, and an understanding seemed to pass between the two magic users. "I owe him my life a hundred times over now, so you can peacefully go back to sleep, Morgana," Arthur tried to modulate his voice to a kinder tone. "Goodnight."

"And sleep well," Merlin said brightly, taking her arm and leading her out.

Arthur was sitting at the table when Merlin returned. "I hope you know what you're doing," Arthur told him. "I can't believe I just bid my greatest enemy a fond goodnight."

Merlin didn't reply. Arthur looked at him. "Out with it, Merlin. You being quiet is now even more unnerving than it usually is."

"Did you mean that?"

Arthur didn't have to ask for clarification. "I've come to know my father's love for what it is. It's mingled with hatred of other things that spills over to his love for me." He swallowed. He really didn't like doing this sort of thing.

"Have you seen him yet?"

"Not yet, I'm steeling my nerves. Mustn't give anything away. Anyway, to continue, I can safely say that you're the person I trust as much as-perhaps even more than- my wife. My wife whom you took from me," Arthur growled, looming over his manservant, glad that he was taller now. That would change soon.

"Yeah…sorry about that," Merlin grinned sheepishly. "At least you can win her faster this time, knowing she's the one for you."

Arthur pondered the strangeness of that comment along with the strangeness of everything that had happened that day, and then gave up. "You'd better get that rest you were complaining about," he said, heading for the door.

"So there's no chance that we could have a hug?" Merlin called out cheekily after him, and Arthur stopped, overcome by déjà vu. He turned back and strode purposefully towards his manservant, noting his half-scared, half-resigned look. He threw his arms around Merlin and pulled him to his chest. Merlin made a small noise of surprise, stiffening, and then relaxed. Merlin had gotten used to being pummeled, Arthur thought regretfully, running his fingers through Merlin's hair, and wondered why he had never cared before.

"I'm sorry, Merlin," Arthur said softly, "but we're stuck together in the past now, so you'll have to put up with me."

Merlin's arms came up to hold Arthur in return, and he replied, "I don't mind, Arthur." Arthur heard the break in the younger man's voice and couldn't resist. "You're such a _girl_ , _Mer_ lin," he said, but Merlin only buried his head in Arthur's neck and squeezed him tighter. Arthur grinned like a boy, feeling lighter than he had in a long, long time. _Is this what it is to have a little brother?_

"We'll take on destiny," he heard Merlin say softly, almost as if to himself. "Together this time."

The door opened and Gaius entered. "Merlin, I'm home–" he began, and then broke off, staring.

Merlin didn't loosen his hold, so Arthur followed his example until the younger man pulled away. "Thank you, Arthur," he said quietly.

Gaius was tapping his foot on the floor now. He raised his eyebrow at them quizzically when the young men looked at him.

Merlin only beamed at Gaius. Arthur put an arm around Merlin's shoulders and said in a tone that sounded a lot like Merlin, "Cure for weepiness, Gaius?"

The physician finally smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Opens a few weeks before S2xE8- Sins of the Father.**

* * *

Arthur groaned when the inescapable beam of sunshine woke him. He stared groggily at the familiar figure standing by the curtains, wrestling with the feeling that something was not quite right.

Oh, right. How many more weeks was it going to take before he got used to the idea of being in the past?

"Rise and shine," Arthur mumbled sarcastically to the silent warlock. "Still sulking, are we?"

Merlin went about the room, putting things away–not that there was much to put away. Arthur had tried to lighten Merlin's work now that he knew that his manservant handled a lot of things that most certainly did not fit his job description. But Merlin had responded that he needed to be near Arthur if he was going to protect him, and that while he appreciated his workload reducing, he still needed to remain as Arthur's manservant. Which argument had left Arthur kind of speechless, and left him to deal with the discomfort of having a terribly powerful man polish his boots.

"I seem to recall telling you I dislike your keeping secrets even more now than usual," Arthur said, putting on a tunic.

Merlin finally dropped his pretense of cleaning the room and sat down. "I have something to tell you."

"Oh, joy," Arthur said bleakly. "This ought to be fun."

It had been anything but fun discovering the number of things that had happened behind his back all those years. Then, quite suddenly, Merlin had backed off and closed up like a vault. Arthur had no idea why, unless Merlin had somehow figured out what the revelations were doing to Arthur's self-esteem. He was getting to know an entirely new side of Merlin, too–the man was uncannily intelligent and perceptive compared to the caricature of a fool Arthur had made him out to be. Though that wasn't true either, now that he thought about it…

"Arthur? Arthur!" Merlin was calling.

"Sorry, Merlin, I was…thinking." Arthur waited for a sassy reply, but there wasn't one. Merlin had closed his eyes and looked as if he was having serious doubts about talking.

"Remember the apparition of your mother that Morgause conjured?"

Boy, did he remember. Arthur just managed to nod, feeling dread clutch at his stomach. He could tell he wasn't going to like this. "We concluded it was just an illusion."

"I lied."

Arthur wondered why he was surprised at all. Maybe he had assumed Merlin would only have lied to him about thing like spending a day in the tavern while actually gallivanting about saving the day. It hadn't really occurred to him that Merlin might have lied about something that struck so close to home.

"How could you?" Arthur hissed, his eyes narrowing. He had to make a physical effort not to reach for his sword.

"I'll explain if you'd just calm down, Arthur."

"Calm down!" Arthur repeated furiously, his voice rising.

Merlin seemed to shrink under his glare. He looked up at Arthur with such a betrayed, how-could-you-not-trust-me expression that Arthur felt his own defenses crumbling.

"Fine," Arthur said curtly, sitting down. There was a pause, and then Merlin said, "Everything the apparition said was true."

 _And every sentence you say today is a blow_ , Arthur thought, trying to remember to breathe.

"But it wasn't the whole truth, either, so take heart, Arthur. Uther knew that to give a life, a life had to be taken–that is the law of magic, and Nimueh had told him that." Merlin's face grew dark as if he were reliving cheerless memories too. "What Nimueh didn't tell him was that the person to die would be your mother. Perhaps Morgause twisted this truth to mislead you. Or maybe the apparition really was your mother, in which case she died believing Uther had betrayed her. We may never know." Merlin turned to face Arthur and fixed his intent gaze on him. "And that is the whole truth as Gaius and I know it, Arthur."

 _Breathe in, and out._ "But then my father is responsible for my mother's death."

"Unknowingly, Arthur."

"That doesn't matter! He was prepared to let someone die so that he may have a son–that's just…" Arthur choked, unable to find the words. "So Nimueh was entirely innocent?"

"Not entirely, no." The black look was back on Merlin's face. "Actually, I don't think Uther's anger at Nimueh, at least, was completely misplaced. I killed Nimueh when she did the same thing to me."

"What!" Arthur had intended to shout, but his lungs didn't have air enough for that, so it came out as a whisper.

"Your mother is avenged, Arthur."

"What did she do to you?"

"What's important right now, Arthur, is that you need to be prepared. Morgause will turn up soon. Morgana needs to be warned, too."

Oh, not her again, Arthur thought. Watching Merlin teach her to control her magic was unsettling enough. And even more so for Gwen, after she had got over the shock of _two_ of her closest friends being magic users. "What's Morgana got to do with it?"

"We need to explain the truth to her before Morgause twists it to her advantage."

"What truth?" Arthur sounded, to his own ears, like a dull child.

"That she and Morgause are half-sisters, and that Morgause's intentions are less than noble."

"Not the part about her being my half-sister?" Arthur asked pointedly.

"No," Merlin said thoughtfully. "I don't think she's ready for that yet." Arthur felt his ire rise again.

"And you decide when someone is ready, do you?"

"I try, Arthur." Merlin's face was solemn and earnest. "Would you have preferred it if I'd dumped all this on you the day we arrived in the past?"

Arthur knew the answer to that, but the unreasonable part of him wouldn't give in. "And why did you interfere on that day? Wouldn't you be better off with my father dead?"

"You know the answer to that," Merlin replied after a pause.

"Indulge me."

"It would have destroyed you if you'd gone through with it."

Arthur thought that one over. "And just how many more secrets do you have from me, _Mer_ lin?"

"They're not secrets anymore–not with you– just an overwhelming number of stories," Merlin said, smiling slightly. "You'll have to trust me to tell you at the right time."

"Can't wait," Arthur replied gloomily. Then he thought of something. "There's something else I don't understand. How come I'm the only one who remembers the future?"

"I puzzled over that one for a while too," Merlin said, and here his voice grew softer. "I think it was because deep down, I knew that changing the past would be impossible without you knowing who I was."

Arthur buried his head in his hands. He jumped when he felt Merlin's fingers on the nape of his neck, and then leaned into the comforting touch.

"It's going to be all right, Arthur," Merlin said, and Arthur let himself believe it for a minute, even as he doubted if Merlin believed it himself.

* * *

A few weeks later

"Have you considered how dull life is going to be if we know everything that's going to happen in advance?" Arthur inquired of Merlin as his horse guided him to Morgause's castle. There was no reply, but Arthur went on. "It's a good thing I don't remember most of what happened in the Council meetings, or I'd have gone mad of boredom by now."

"Don't worry, we've already set a different future in motion by revealing my identity to Morgana," Merlin returned, a touch forbiddingly. "And we're going to make it even more different when we deal with Morgause today."

"You don't seem pleased."

Once again, Merlin was quiet. Arthur sighed and wondered whatever was wrong with his manservant…warlock. He was starting to get more comfortable calling Merlin that in his head now. A talk with Gaius had revealed that Merlin was the same around him, too. Gaius apparently felt that Merlin had 'aged by several years' in just a couple of days, an observation Uther had made about Athur as well, and one that he had tried to brush off. Gaius seemed surprised and worried at this reticence on Merlin's part, and Arthur didn't blame him. An unsmiling, silent Merlin was something Arthur had a deep-seated dislike for.

Arthur's horse chose this moment to plunge into a familiar-looking lake with a waterfall at the far end. He threw an amused look over his shoulder at Merlin, when he noted Merlin's set jaw and the tenseness in his shoulders. "I do declare, you look terrified, _Mer_ lin." Arthur rolled his eyes when this brought no reaction. "What are you so afraid of, anyway? You're supposed to be the most powerful–"

"That's not it, Arthur," Merlin interrupted, and Arthur mentally smacked himself for nearly announcing Merlin's secret where Morgause might be listening. "Oh look, we're here," Merlin said, with false cheer.

Arthur began to feel slightly uneasy himself as he played along with Morgause's charade. He blamed Merlin for rubbing off his black mood on him. Then Ygraine's spirit _(illusion. Whatever.)_ appeared and he forgot everything else, sinking into her embrace as she whispered tenderly to him.

"Your father betrayed me," the spectre said.

 _It seems to run in the family,_ Arthur thought, images of Uther, Morgana and Agravaine flashing in his mind. He was having no trouble playing the devastated son. He spent the rest of the bizarre affair keeping a check on his lust for revenge on the silent sorceress standing close by, who had, according to Merlin, played a huge role in turning Morgana into an implacable enemy of Camelot.

"It is an unforgettable betrayal," Morgause said sympathetically, as Arthur stood blankly staring into the distance after the spectre had left.

"Indeed," Arthur said, trying to sound normal. "Regardless, well played, Morgause."

"What?" The sorceress was the picture of outraged honesty.

"You have not shown me the entire truth."

"You are unwilling to admit the truth of your father's betrayal," Morgause said kindly. "I understand, but you must eventually realize that what I have just shown you is the truth."

"I have denied neither," Arthur replied. "What I do affirm is that my father did not know that his wife would die. And that you are here to use me in your own scheme for revenge by turning me against him."

"This is outrageous, Prince Arthur." Morgause turned as if to leave.

"I don't need your confirmation, Morgause. And while I have nothing against magic users I strongly object to those who use magic for evil ends. And those who seek to subvert someone who's like a sister to me."

"I see paranoia runs in the family of Pendragons."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "The only reason I do not strike you down right now is that a wise friend once told me it is wrong to judge people for what they are about to do."

Morgana smirked even as her face betrayed her anger and chagrin. "Noble to the end, Prince Arthur."

"For your sake, I sincerely hope this is the end, Morgause. Consider this your first and only warning. Leave Camelot and its protectors alone. One day, I give you my word, magic will be respected and accepted in this land, but people such as yourself only succeed in making that day further off." Morgause's face showed no reaction. Arthur stepped away. "Farewell, Morgause." He blinked when he found she had disappeared into the darkness.

There was a pause, and then Merlin said, "Quite a performance, sire."

They waited until they were well away from the castle before speaking.

"All right, Merlin, I've had it," Arthur said, his leftover emotions from the experience he'd just gone through making him more frustrated than usual. "What is wrong with you? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were _upset_ because of the change in history and my averted death."

Arthur regretted being so brutal to get a rise out of Merlin, but he could see no other way. Still, he wasn't prepared for the way Merlin tensed and went white to his lips. "Arthur–how could you even think–"

Great. _Merlin_ was having trouble speaking.

"What are you constantly brooding about, then?"

Merlin took a deep breath. "Setting off a worse future than the one we escaped. Failing to protect you–again. Morgana turning against us despite our efforts–and this time it'll be far easier for her to destroy you, because she knows who I am. What are _you_ so chipper about?"

Arthur blinked at the sudden storm of words, but he was not to be put off.

"Coming back from the dead. A new lease of life. A second chance at rectifying my mistakes, this time with the benefit of hindsight. The discovery of an unimaginably powerful friend whose loyalty knows no bounds…why, Merlin, you're getting terribly pessimistic."

"I watched you die in my arms," Merlin coldly stated. "And there was nothing I could do, even with all that power you were just exulting in." He let out a shuddery breath. "Gaius has trouble adapting to the idea of us dropping in from the future. And Kilgarrah," Merlin gave a cynical smile that startled Arthur, "thinks I'm a prize idiot to try and change what's already been destined."

Arthur suddenly wished he'd spent more time keeping an eye on Merlin instead of on Gwen in the past few weeks. "Well, look at what you've accomplished already," he said, trying not to be unnerved by Merlin's world-weariness. "We stopped that troll from ever taking a hold on my father in the first place."

" _You_ did that. By running it through and exposing her helper's tail before a shocked court."

"You stopped Guinevere from getting kidnapped and running into Lancelot, while also making sure to inspire Lancelot to aim for greater things."

" _You_ stopped the kidnapping."

"How much credit do you need?" Arthur teased. "You stopped the witchfinder."

"I stopped him last time too. Only this time, he didn't get to torture Gaius. And you got to giggle at the toad emerging from Aredian's mouth.

"I do _not_ giggle!" Arthur said indignantly, sitting bolt upright in his saddle.

Merlin smiled, and Arthur silently congratulated himself. Then he grew slightly concerned when the smile continued for several minutes.

"Now what?" he asked, exasperated. He couldn't remember the last time Merlin had taken up so much of his attention simply because he was _in the dumps._

"Freya's coming," Merlin replied, sounding much happier.

"Who?"

Merlin suddenly whipped around and squinted into the distance as if trying to see through the trees. Knowing him, he probably was, Arthur thought, saying out loud, "What is it?"

"We're being watched."

Arthur started to turn his horse around, but Merlin said, "It's too late. Whoever it was, he's gone. Or she is."

They exchanged glances and continued on their journey back to the citadel.

"So who's Freya?"

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Sorry about all the talky-talk. I promise it's going to get more action-based from the next chapter onwards. If anyone is protesting at the change in the relationship between these two boys, all I can say is that it was to be expected, with the revelations about years of secret protecting. Also they're the only ones who remember the future. That's bound to bring a change.**

 **A huge thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, followed or favourited this story. Especially the reviews…So kind. This my first fanfic that's over a chapter in length, and your support really means a lot to me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Opens before S2 E11 (The Witch's Quickening).**

* * *

"Can you turn people into toads?"

"Yes."

"Can you make swords out of nothing?"

"...No."

"Can you stop arrows from hitting their targets?"

"Yes, how do you think you're still alive, Arthur?"

"Can you...?"

Merlin sighed and tuned Arthur out, wishing the prince hadn't suddenly decided to be a chatterbox. A childish chatterbox, talkative enough to give Merlin himself competition.

The prat had decided that they needed a picnic. A _picnic_. The idiotically manly prince who needed no breaks from work wanted a picnic. Merlin personally thought it was a desire to be with Gwen that had brought this on. Or maybe the girls (hang on, since when had he started clubbing Gwen and Morgana together?) had talked him into it.

" _Mer_ lin! Stop staring at nothing like a dimwit and answer the question!"

"Yes, Your Royal Childishness," Merlin replied, rolling his eyes and completely missing the worried looks his three friends were sending him.

Ridiculousness aside, Arthur's innocent curiosity about magic _was_ kind of nice. Only, for some reason, it didn't cheer him up as much as it should have.

Nothing did, these days.

"This looks nice, Arthur," Gwen called, riding ahead and looking around.

Arthur made a noise of appreciation. There was a little stream, rocks, a meadow nearby– everything picnickers could ask for.

Merlin was completely unsurprised when Arthur and Gwen wandered off, hand in hand, leaving him and Morgana alone. He tried, unsuccessfully, to quell the twinge of hurt in his chest.

 _Stop imitating a clinging limpet_ , he scolded himself. Arthur's entitled to spend time with the person he loves most in the world.

It still hurt, to his surprise. He'd never felt that way about Gwen and Arthur before.

"Merlin?" It was Morgana. "Are you... alright?" Goodness, she looked _nervous_. Morgana, nervous of _him._ That would never do.

"Uh–yeah, of course," Merlin replied, trying to perk up and give her his usual bright smile. "Shall we try the shielding spell again, Morgana? You need to hone your control."

 _You're supposed to be a confidant and teacher to Morgana. Get in the role instead of moping, idiot_ , said a voice in his head that sounded a lot like Arthur.

Merlin felt himself relax as Morgana frowned in concentration, mouthing the words of the spell and trying to sustain it. This he felt at home with. Openly using magic. Well, more or less open. Nothing too flashy. _Teaching_ magic. watching his student grow, both in skill and in ways more important.

Gwen and Arthur joined them not much later. Gwen was looking a bit shell-shocked. Arthur must have told her about the whole time-travel thing. Merlin's heart went out to her. Typical princely cluelessness–take the woman you love out on a picnic and tell her all about the dark future. Perfect.

Morgana could never know, Merlin thought for the hundredth time, his own thoughts turning to darker things. He didn't want more secrets, but it was for the best–

 _Crack!_

An arrow embedded itself in the tree next to Arthur's face, and a dozen bandits sprang into the clearing.

Arthur's heart sank as the familiar brooding look on his friend's face returned suddenly. He muttered something uncomplimentary under his breath, wishing he could do something, anything to stop Merlin being so... un-Merlin.

Which was when the green foliage around them began spewing bandits in black.

He got to his feet, keeping a close eye on his companions, but he might as well have remained lying on the ground. Merlin let out a furious roar–yes, his mild-mannered manservant was _roaring–_ and a golden wave of magic swept all the bandits backwards and off their feet. They did not stir again.

Arthur walked over to the nearest bandit and checked for a pulse. Nothing. He let out a low whistle, exchanging glances with Gwen and Morgana, and then grinned.

"Never thought I'd say this, but well done, _Mer_ lin ," he said, and then stopped when he saw that Merlin wasn't listening.

"Merlin?" Gwen called.

"How could I have been so stupid?" The warlock was muttering to himself. Then he looked up. "Arthur, didn't you remember that this place was bandit-infested when you headed here?"

Arthur only stared back at him, deadpan.

Merlin looked at him and then groaned, understanding. "No, no, no!" He flapped his arms dramatically. "You _knew_ this would happen!"

"Brilliant deduction, _Mer_ lin," Arthur returned sarcastically. "Of course I knew, I'm not stupid or distracted, which is more than I can say for you." Gwen frowned at him and he winced.

"But why?" Morgana asked.

"Because he wanted to watch me fight," Merlin said in a disgusted voice.

Arthur felt a blush coming on, much to his annoyance. Merlin made it sound so childish. "I wanted to analyse Merlin's abilities," he began desperately.

"You just put Camelot and all our lives in danger, Arthur." Great. _Merlin_ was beginning to sound like his father.

"Oh, please," Arthur drawled condescendingly. "You used your magic in a remote area and killed all witnesses. Do stop overreacting. " He stepped towards his horse, but was blocked by an angry Merlin.

"I didn't kill one particular witness," he said in a voice that chilled Arthur. "She escaped. Again."

"Who? – Morgause?" Gwen choked out.

"The same," Merlin ground out, "She's probably been following us around. Now she knows about my magic." He sent the dismayed Arthur a final glare before stalking towards the horses.

"What is the matter with you?" Arthur shouted at Merlin's retreating back. "We've faced far worse than Morgause!" He knew that the listening Morgana had to be kept out of the loop, but he couldn't bring himself to care right then.

Merlin stopped. "I'm concerned for _your_ _safety_ , sire," he said, his shoulders taut with tension. Arthur strode ahead to his own horse.

"Well, stop it!" Arthur returned angrily. "That's an order!" He buried another wince as the anger drained away from Merlin's face, leaving behind weariness and hopelessness. He refused to succumb to compassion and swung himself into the saddle.

He saw Morgana step forward, a familiar angry expression on her face, but Merlin silenced her with a glance and a shake of his head.

It was a considerably subdued party that returned to Camelot.

Arthur awoke with a jerk in the middle of the night to the sound of a muffled cry. He lay still for a few minutes, wrestling with his desire to help, but finally gave in. He put on a tunic, took an armful of pillows and walked to the antechamber.

Merlin sat on his bed, leaning against the wall and staring blearily at the wall opposite. He moved mechanically when Arthur sat next to him and arranged the pillows around the two of them.

"What was it about?" Arthur asked. There was no reply. "Oh," he said, cringing. The nightmare had been about him. Merlin had been plagued by nighttime horrors at such an intensity and frequency that Arthur had ordered Merlin weeks earlier to sleep in the antechamber at night. That's where servants of royalty where supposed to be at night anyway. For some reason, being close to Arthur seemed to convince Merlin's nightmares to stay away.

Then Merlin had been granted a reprieve after Freya had come on the scene and been sent away. He'd started having nightmares about her instead. Arthur's guilty pleasure at not being the reason for his friend's (yes, that's what Merlin was) misery was destined to be short-lived, it seemed.

Merlin's nightmares had started centering on Arthur again. Arthur wondered if it had anything to do with the argument earlier that day. They hadn't sorted it out, just buried it and treated it like it hadn't happened.

"Maybe you should go to be with Freya," he said aloud, surprising himself. Merlin finally moved, though he didn't look at Arthur. "She might be the only one who can help you."

"I…don't need help," Merlin mumbled. Arthur snorted. "Freya is safer where she is, out of Camelot: the last thing she needs is me drawing attention to her. And…I have a job to do here."

Arthur shifted uncomfortably as he swallowed his pride. _Oh, forget it. Here goes._ "I apologise for adding to your burdens, old friend," he said, taking comfort in the formality of the words, if not in the sentiment expressed. "Your loyalty and self-sacrifice knows no bounds and…" Arthur recalled the words of another apology he'd once made. "I have behaved appallingly."

A flicker of a smile appeared on Merlin's face. "Is that actually a compliment?" he said, leaning towards Arthur's shoulder and then seeming to hesitate.

Arthur smiled. "Don't be stupid." He put his arm around Merlin and pulled so that the warlock's head rested on his shoulder. They rested in comfortable silence for a while. Then Arthur spoke again. "I meant what I said before, though."

"Mm?" Merlin sounded half- asleep already, and Arthur pushed down his guilt at waking him again.

"What is the matter with you, Merlin?" Arthur asked, softly this time. Merlin's body went taut against his. "No, listen. Am I the Once and Future king or am I not?" Merlin pushed himself up and looked at Arthur.

"Of course you are," he said, sounding puzzled.

"We're two sides of the same coin, yeah?" Merlin nodded, still looking perplexed. Arthur reached out with his other hand and cupped the back of Merlin's head. "Then why do you insist on carrying your burdens alone, you colossal idiot?" Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes. "Why're you acting like you've given up already?"

Merlin looked stricken. "I–I haven't…given up," he began, but Arthur cut him off.

"Maybe not, but you will if go on like this," Arthur said through gritted teeth. "Merlin, for everything you went through all those years by yourself– _I am truly sorry._ " The fire came back to Merlin's eyes at once.

"It was hardly your fault I didn't tell you, Arthur."

"That's highly debatable. No, shut up," he said. Thankfully, the younger man obliged. The prince held Merlin tighter. "Those days are over. Gone. I'm here for you now, my friend."

He watched as Merlin's eyes lost their pain-filled look and brimmed with relief, gratitude and…was that wonder?

"I–that is, um, thank you, Arthur," Merlin stammered, looking anywhere but at him. Arthur snickered in the privacy of his thoughts. _Score!_ his thoughts crowed.

"You're not going to cry now, are you?" Arthur asked in mock astonishment.

"No," came the immediate denial, accompanied by a violent scrubbing of the eyes. Merlin growled at the smirk that must have been plastered on Arthur's face, and then calmed down again. "I just… never thought I'd see the day when _you_ would teach _me_ what the prophecy meant." There was that smile again, full of awe.

"There's no need to sound so patronizing, _Mer_ lin," Arthur said, pulling away from the now-blissfully content warlock and sinking back into the pillows.

"No, that's definitely best left to you," Merlin agreed, and then let out a laugh when Arthur sent a pillow flying at him. Arthur's breath hitched at the joyful, carefree sound.

"That's better," he said, feeling like the sun had come out after a long spell of rain. Merlin smiled at him, and then asked, "Shouldn't you be getting back to bed?"

"I am in bed."

"I meant your bed, clotpole."

Arthur wished he could summon annoyance at the ridiculous nickname, but his face seemed determined to keep smiling. "I'm going to keep an eye on a certain irksome manservant tonight, and I believe I once told him I'd choose death over sharing _my_ bed with him." Merlin only chuckled, and then lay down next to him–with his head planted firmly on Arthur's chest.

"Oy!" Arthur said, poking at the weight on top of him. "Didn't say you could do that."

"Hoity-toity!" was the only response, and a white hand came up to grip Arthur's shirt as if he, the Crown Prince of Camelot, were a mother comforting a child. Arthur sighed and laid back again, his fingertips playing with Merlin's hair and then moving towards his neck. He stared when Merlin yelped and wriggled.

"Wait," Arthur said, a wicked smile spreading on his own face. "You're…ticklish?"

Merlin looked up at him. "Arthur…" he began warningly. Arthur ran his fingers over Merlin's sides and the warning ended in another yelp.

"Merlin," Arthur announced with the gravity of a judge. "You are doomed." Merlin was already trying to get away, but the prince soon put an end to that. The warlock was soon trapped under Arthur's arm, giggling helplessly.

"Arthur, please, stop!" he gasped.

Arthur laughed, enjoying the sight of his hitherto solemn friend unable to stop giggling. It was only a matter of time before Merlin's eyes flashed gold and Arthur was hurled backwards. He landed harmlessly on a pile of thoughtfully-arranged pillows. On the floor.

"Let me guess," Arthur said, looking around. "You slowed down time and then put the pillows there?"

Merlin hummed an affirmative, panting slightly. "I'll never get to sleep now," he groaned.

Arthur disagreed. "One can but try," he said majestically, the effect spoiled when he had to stifle a yawn. "Come along, then!" He grabbed his manservant's arm and dragged him towards the door, snorting in amusement when he saw that the pillows were floating in the air, following them in an orderly line. He led the younger man to his own room.

"But I thought you said…"

"Merlin?"

"Shut up?"

"You got it."

The two boys were soon in the prince's bed, the younger resting his head over the older's heart, held firmly in his arms. Arthur smiled when Merlin fell asleep in minutes.

Morgana stared at the two intruders in her room. They wanted her to break into the vaults to steal a crystal. Merlin had warned her against people who used magic to fight Camelot, but this…this was Mordred and his guardian! They had suffered so much at Uther's hands. Surely it was the right thing to side with them?

She wished she could tell Alvarr about Merlin, but she had sworn never to reveal Merlin's secret. As he had, for her. She couldn't betray his trust, either.

 _What on earth am I supposed to do?_

As if in answer to her unvoiced question, Arthur and Merlin burst into the room. Thankfully, there were no guards with them.

"Where are they, Morgana?" Arthur asked her grimly.

"Who?" Morgana faltered when Merlin's gaze landed on her.

 _Don't, Morgana. I can sense them._

"Come out, Alvarr," Arthur said. "We know you're here."

Alvarr and Mordred emerged cautiously from behind her screen. "How do you know who I am?" Alvarr asked the prince.

"That does not concern you," Arthur replied. "I know why you're here, and I sympathise with your…situation."

Alvarr's face showed less surprise than Morgana would have expected. "Sympathy does me little good, Arthur Pendragon."

"I'm afraid I don't have the power to give you much else. I've misled the guards so they don't come this way. You must leave, now." Alvarr didn't seem inclined to obey. "I promise that one day, things will be different. Magic will be accepted in this land," Arthur continued. "Until then, please refrain from attacking Camelot. It will only result in pointless bloodshed."

Alvarr turned to fix his piercing gaze on Morgana. Then Mordred's voice sounded in her mind. _He says he'll wait for you outside the citadel, Morgana. Please don't fail us. We need you._

Then Arthur was leading Alvarr and Mordred out of her chambers and hopefully to safety. Merlin turned as he was leaving the room and opened his mouth as if to say something. Then he seemed to change his mind. The door shut behind him, leaving Morgana to a sleepless night.

 _I'm doing the right thing, I'm doing the right thing,_ Morgana mentally chanted as she headed towards the vaults. She took down a lighted torch from a wall and then froze as a voice sounded behind her.

"Don't, Morgana." She swung around to face Merlin. Arthur stood behind him. Both wore unnerving expressionless masks. She silently allowed them to lead her to her chambers.

"What were you thinking, Morgana?" Arthur finally exploded once they were safe from prying ears. She was grateful for that, at least. _I don't deserve it, at least according to our agreement. I broke the terms._ Still, she wasn't going to sit back meekly.

"Arthur," Merlin halted Arthur's ranting. "Morgana, why did you do that? It was dangerous." How very typical of Merlin. All he was concerned about was her safety, bless him.

"They deserve our help, Merlin."

"All magic users deserve our help, Morgana. But that doesn't mean we help those who use wrong means to achieve their ends," Merlin was pleading now. "We've been through all this."

"What if you're wrong?" Morgana asked desperately. "What if waiting around _peacefully_ while Uther hunts down more innocents isn't the right thing to do? What makes you so sure that this is the right way to go?"

A dark look flickered in Merlin's eyes. "A while ago, I'd have said it's destiny," he said, then gave a bitter laugh. "I won't say that to you, Morgana. I won't try to persuade you of the unavoidable destiny we're all going to be part of…where the Once and Future King frees magic in this land." He looked at Arthur as he said this, and Morgana got the feeling that she was missing something important. Why did Merlin speak of destiny as if it was his enemy? Was he unhappy that Arthur was the Once and Future King? "But know this, Morgana," Merlin said, suddenly sounding more than thrice his age. "War between those with and without magic will ultimately kill a lot more innocents than the number being killed now. Also, a peaceful solution is the best for all parties concerned. Or we'll just have endless cycles of mistrust, hatred and bloodshed stretching throughout generations." He stopped for breath and waited for her response.

"But we can't just abandon Alvarr and Mordred, they're our kin; you said so yourself!"

"I know," Merlin said, and then hesitated. "Which is why I think you should go to them."

"What?" Arthur echoed Morgana's question, only louder. "Why?"

"To persuade them to our point of view."

Arthur looked at his manservant as if he'd gone crazy, and for once Morgana empathized.

* * *

 **A/N: Review, please? Any suggestions?**


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